Sunday, August 5, 2012

Getting our groove back!

This blog starts as the Caringbridge for Emry ends. I decided to start the blog, mostly because I have realized that it is healthy for me to get "things" out and to see them written. It was a good way for me to reflect on what was going on, to be reminded if all there is to be thankful for and to be reminded that what matters most to me is my God and my family. I find that it is really easy to get swept up in the day to day. It started as soon as coming home from the hospital. I've been thinking as crazy and surreal as an experience we had with Emry in the hospital, it allowed us to focus on what was important. Every other day there are 50 (or more!) things to think about. For that week, it was my God and my family. Now I strive to figure out how to get that perspective on a daily basis "in the real world" (when I figure it out, I'll let you know...and if you figure it out before me, PLEASE teach me!) I feel like there are so many unimportant things that take up too much time...and please, I have no time for any drama in my life.

So, now my goal is to figure out how I can do what I want (and first, to figure out what I want AND what I really mean when I say that...talk about complicated!).

OH, how interesting...and how God continues to remind me that I am not the one in control. I just ran downstairs and saw this quote on a card that I have hanging on my refrigerator:

"I don't have to figure out why or how or when. God has a plan, and I'm committed to it. That commitment frees me from having to worry about the details." -Barbara Johnson

To recap for those of you following our story with Emry, she ended up having a great week. It took the "typical" three days to settle back in. She is going down a little later for bed (7-7:30 vs 6:30), but she is also sleeping until 7-7:30 so I am wondering if she is going to fall back into her old routine once she is back at daycare. That starts tomorrow. We are going to get back into our groove and mom is going back to work (starting a day at home on Monday in case things don't run smooth at daycare).  Of course I have mixed feelings (well, not really even mixed, I just don't want to go back to work at all), but I do think it will be good for us to get back into our routine.
Emry is back to eating and pooping regularly (I know you will miss the toots and poop stories!). She is back at her homecoming queen waving (hi to everyone and anyone that will look at her) and her ear to ear grin. It's SO good to see.
Nolan ended the week with strep throat, but was a champ at recovering. He decided when we were out shopping over the weekend that he should have a get well balloon for himself (seeing Emry had a stash!). So, he picked out a smiley face balloon and that has kept him pretty content. He even shared it with my dad today when they came for lunch. It was dad's 70th birthday on Saturday and they stopped by as they were in the area with friends/relatives. Nolan said "Here Grandpa Baseball, you can have this for your birthday, but you can't take it home because then when you come next time it won't be here for you to play with." Gotta love the Nolan sayings.
Seeing as I have never really written a blog, I'm not sure how to end one. I have that "Dear Diary" and "I'll write more tomorrow" sixth grade type feeling as I type...I don't think blogs are like that, but then I guess I'm not sure. Maybe I should have researched blogging more before I just up and started one.
I'll end with this:
Today I had my first experience in a very long time, if ever, of not knowing if I would have enough money to pay for groceries. After church, we went to the grocery store..Nolan and I went in, while Dylan and Emry went to get gas and a carwash. I didn't have my purse, so Dylan gave me cash. He had $80 and gave it all to me. As I was shopping, I found myself adding up everything I was putting in my cart, trying to be sure that I would be under $80. When I got to the check out, I was super anxious and nervous. I told the check out guy that I would need to know when I was up around $70, because I may have to put a few things back. That came a lot sooner than I thought it would, so I told him I'd skip the bananas and the peaches. He rang them up anyway, just to see and my bill was $79.18. I couldn't believe it. I realized then, that I was only in that anxiety driven situation because I didn't have enough cash on me, not because we didn't have enough money, in general to pay for food. It hit me that there are likely many families each hour that pass through lines in grocery stores that feel like I felt every time they go grocery shopping.
Just another ounce of perspective...

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