The page is blank, yet to be written...a fresh new start with newly sharpened pencils, a clean computer desktop (those of you that know me well, know that I store EVERYTHING on my desktop), a clean desk...it's like being in grade school and anticipating the first day of school. I cannot believe I start my new job on Monday. I am SO ready...excited for a new journey...it feels like a fresh /clean slate, a chance to write whatever I want...I'm going to be the new kid. I am sure my shyness will peak, my anxiety will heighten...I probably won't sleep Sunday night (much like the night before the first day of school). I'm already envisioning myself as the freshman on campus, not knowing what building to go to and not knowing who I am going to sit by in class, but still, there is an excitement amidst the unknown.
Yesterday was the last time for me to go into the old office and it was an opportunity to say good bye to colleagues. I hope I see those faces many times over in the upcoming years. I worked with and grew to love many of my friends from work. Those people are what made leaving so hard. If my old company only knew the passion that thrives within those walls. I intend to carry that with me.
I've realized in the last year, that I am not in control. I picture God sitting up in heaven thinking, it's about time I let go. I've realized that if I can let go and let God take control, that I don't really have to worry or be anxious about where my life is going...I've realized that's faith. With the curve balls I've seen life throw (and my inability to hit anything but a pitch right down the middle), I know I need Someone to help me keep swinging (no matter how many times I strike out looking).
So, I'm excited to see where this next chapter leads...I love the fresh start feeling, I'm ready for a routine.
Of course, I'll miss my "stay at home mom days!" Today was "the last" day for me to see Nolan on the bus (for now), we'll have to start cleaning and doing laundry again on weekends, I'll have to plan meals more in advance, get crockpot dinners going before work in the morning, get my kids up early so I can get to work on time....I'll have to remind myself daily that getting kids ready before I go to work is not an excuse to hurry them out the door for fear I will be late...ah, the joys of being a working mom. Don't worry, that's not sarcasm! It's reality...and I'm just hoping that I can keep it all in perspective when reality hits on Monday! And so, the count down begins....